Many of us may understand the frustration of being misunderstood or unfairly judged. Almost every one of us experiences this setback. None of us like to hear bitter facts about our mistakes and incompetence. But we have to face the criticisms in life every day and cannot escape. How do we deal with this criterion of measuring people and things between us? So how to deal with criticism and how to deal with the negative words that others say to us?
Criticism is an attack on our self-esteem, and our defense system will protect ourselves from suffering. We sometimes apologize for what we or others think is wrong. Sometimes we even think of ways to blame others for making things like this. Think about your strengths, this will give you positive opinions and prepare you to face criticism.
(1) Think about your strengths, this will give you positive opinions and prepare you to face criticism. John Maxwell said that we should spend at least 70% of our time on our strengths and only 5% of our time on our weaknesses. Negative criticism places our attention too much on our weaknesses.
(2) Think of this as an opportunity for learning and self-growth, not an attack on your self-esteem. Criticism as a source of self-improvement provides value opinions that you missing.
(3) At this time you should let go of your fears and emotions and see the situation clearly. You may need to ask each other for more details and their beliefs. Maybe they believe something different from you. Maybe they used to get things done in a certain way which leads them stuck in that designated way as well.
(4) Many of the anger that ultimately results from criticism may become a resentment. So be sure to forgive this person. Actively seek to work with them to negotiate a solution that is satisfactory to both of you. The final goal is to get things done and not create more division.
(5) Try to take a step back and respond. Thanks for their words and tell them that you will consider and discuss with them on another occasion. This method can calm down both of you and further rationalize your behavior.
(6) We criticize others. We believe this is true. Similarly, if someone criticizes us, they may think they are right, and the criticism is probably true. Think about criticism and ask yourself if it makes sense. If this is the case, then find a way to prevent this from happening again. If it is not, then take measures to calmly refute, preferably with evidence.
(7) Are you concerned about the person criticizing you or the content of the criticism? If you focus on this person, your focus will shift to the weaknesses of others instead of focusing on the criticism itself. In this way, you will only pay attention to criticism and will not have biased views.
(8) Don’t be entangled in criticism, but move on. Your value is not determined by a criticism!
There is nothing wrong with a little criticism. We don’t need to live according to other people’s views. We can listen to everyone’s opinions, but follow ourselves.